Flamboyance.

This feels ultimately.. awkward.

A comeback after about a year, certainly is strange. Just as I was back pedaling through my previous entries, Mr. Realization walked pass.

Heck, a year it has been, that was pronto! Yeah and.. the price tag that comes with it, a year older, and wiser, maybe? I hope. 

This year has taught me a lot, and when I say so, I deeply mean it. Close people to my heart made exits, new people ushered in changes, fresh attachments took place, well and some still remain together to form my pillar of strength, up to this very moment. So happens, that within these relentless gush of situations everyday, we learn something new and yet sometimes foolishly commit the same mistakes. 

But it's a viscous cycle that takes place helplessly, and it ceases with one verdict.
TO LEARN. 

I'm finally walking towards my dream, my all time passion. Yeah, every day brings me an inch closer to that destiny I've desired all my life, the day I'll be proud to put on my supersuit without hesitation. Glad that luck and success stood by my side, and made me speed through another phase of life. You know, we all some or rather have our distinct plots in this life, just with different momentum, paths, latitudes, longitudes, heights and aims. It takes time to reap the best, and it also takes time to rip off the wound scab without having any blood to ooze out.

It's a process, failure-success, heartbreak-falling in love, happiness-sadness, danger-safety, risk-security, evil-good. It's alternative, it's mandatory. Today it's me, tomorrow it may be you.

Rewinding Grey's Anatomy from Season One, and I suddenly have become all philosophical. When Season One was airing on television, back in 2005, I was only thirteen then. A stinky little teenager, being all dreamy about life. Now, that I've replayed them back, I realize that half of the scenes and dialogues, were merely a prologue to my adult life. I couldn't apprehend their witty but yet wise dialogues, and their 'advanced' level of behaviour too!

PG 13 ratings can be so deceiving! But you know, hormones, they never let you act your age. It forces you to assimilate things, that don't suit to your understanding.

Now touching, 22, and as I reflect on the future, I'm pondering if my fate is going to be that dreamy, crappy and uhmmm, steamy? I must be a late bloomer, but Grey's Anatomy sure does make sense to my well established neurons and synapses now. A bigtime, BAM!

You know, what they say about sacrifices. You become the sheep, and sacrifice yourself, but at the end you get nothing for yourself. No, I strongly disagree. All my sacrifices paid off, and my good karmas are compensating now. If it doesn't happen to you right now, brush away the dissapointment, cause it's not time yet. If it happens, lets say, you've caught the grenade!

This year, has got to bring about good and healthy changes. Resolutions are merely words we scribble on papers, ramble on blog dashboards, and bluster around to people that these are the things we want badly. I dont know about others, but somehow that pathetic resolution list I do, always goes missing halfway the year, or left untouched by the end of the year. Maybe, I just wasn't that bothered and wanted to be cool, about having my own list. Pointless.

But, I'd like to prove myself wrong this year. I'm cutting off the bootless flamboyance that I carved upon my life all this while, just to give people the impression, I'm perfect, good, happy, cool, updated and what not.

This time, I'd like to do things for my own SATISFACTION. This sugar coating business has got to stop!

• I'd be going on a solo vacation, to get out of my comfort zone. 
• AR Rahman's coming here, and I got to grab my seat for this one. Been an all time fan since I was in primary. Unless, RIRI, yeap, Rihanna I meant, decides to have a concert here. Then, i'll make that as TWO CONCERTS.
• Take more risks, and bigger risks as I get the hype of it. 
• I'm going to enjoy reading my 600 thick paged books, I don't know how. But i'll figure that out.
• In five years time, I'd be having tough time juggling my job, family and social life. So I might as well, learn how to juggle my YING and YANG(s) now onwards. 
• Attempt to be a YOUTUBER. That includes, a dance choreography video and a song cover. Been an all time performer, but you know for this once, I'd like to have a publicity on the media network. LOL, i've been way too much influenced by Superwoman. Well, that woman has got substance in her!
• To make a VISION BOARD. Yeah, I'd like to see how much, sticking pictures, quotes, and more pictures on an empty board actually deceives my mind to STOP being a perfectionist and START living.
• The parade of pans, utensils and pots! You got it, I meant COOKING. I'm going to cook my way out, do more kitchen experiments and learn how to win people's heart by good food. Of course, that's secondary to my highly persuasive talking skills.

Okay. Way too many figurative in my wishlist may sort it to be non executable. 

That's it for now, till I check them all out, ain't nothing is going to add up to that shameless list.

For now, I'm going to sit back, and enjoy my break. Well, and learn how to make my life more flamboyantly satisfying. If, that's even correct in the grammar protocol. But heck. 

If one thing that doesn't change is the fact that writing in an empty and sparse space, despite knowing you may have only a handful of readers because of your one year of disappearance, THIS STILL FEELS GOOD. 

Signing off cause when life throws you lemon, make vodkas ladies!

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